She lay there,dead. Lifeless. I wondered where did I go wrong. She fell free for 14 floors and landed with a thud on the ground, all before my eyes, a few seconds ago. Could I have saved her?
What else could I have done to make it better?
Why did she do this to me?
Was I that bad as a man?As a partner?
I felt a rush to wake her up and talk to her for the last time. I had questions in my mind. A lot of unanswered questions. A lot of anger. A lot of things which I had wanted to share but was hesitant. How unfortunate it is to feel like this,at this moment. Her body lying motionless,her eyes looking away from me. Blood everywhere, her soft manicured hands lying still on the ground. It was a mess in my head and heart. Anger,shame, guilt, disgust,love-all the emotions together made my blood rush in my body at light speed. I was holding the terrace railing tight, wondering if I could rewind it all back to a few minutes ago.
There was loud bang on the terrace entrance. The policemen came running, and put handcuffs on me. They kept asking me something. It was all a blur. My ears started ringing. They were taking me away. I was busy thinking what if she could wake back up. Just move her head and look towards the terrace. No way, that would be a disaster. It just scares the hell out of me just imagining that she with her skull bleeding would look back at me with her blank eyes. It’s better if things done are not undone now.
So much crowd around. Everyone whispering, murmuring, talking,I don’t know about what. Strange looks, strange stares. I know these people. This is a different look. Do they think I killed her? It’s better I look at the ground. I was not in a state to utter a word. While I was busy imagining and thinking about a lot of things, events, emotional memories, the last words she spoke, the police jeep reached the local Thana. They locked me up. I was innocent. I hadn’t done anything. I suddenly realised they all thought that I am the killer, that I killed my girlfriend. I got my voice back. I started shouting “I didn’t kill her,It wasn’t me!She jumped off the terrace. Get me out. It was a suicide. I need a lawyer!I didn’t kill her!I didn’t kill her!!”
To be continued…..